Watery Fowls


Mr. Hamilton: Would you make me a Waldorf Salad?
Basil Fawlty: [having never heard of it] I beg your pardon?
Mr. Hamilton: Get me a Waldorf Salad.
Basil Fawlty: Well, I think we just ran out of Waldorfs!

Basil Fawlty: Walnuts! That’s a laugh! Easier to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce than a walnut in this bloody kitchen!
Sybil Fawlty: Now, we’ve got apples…
Basil Fawlty: [hysterical] Oh! Terrific! We’ll celebrate! We’ll have an apple party! Everyone cores his own apple and stuffs them down somebody’s throat!

Basil Fawlty: [quietly] This is typical. Absolutely typical… of the kind of…
Basil Fawlty: [shouting] ARSE I have to put up with from you people! You ponce in here expecting to be handwaited on hand and foot, while I’m trying to run a hotel here! Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not! You’re all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking about for things to complain about, aren’t you? Well let me tell you something – this is exactly how Nazi Germany started! A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble! Well, I’ve had fifteen years of pandering to the likes of you, and I’ve had enough! I’ve had it! Come on, pack your bags and get out!